This is pretty ground breaking. (Ahahaha, it's punny)
Azeroth is actually... Australia. Australia far far in the future, so distant a future we cannot begin to imagine it unless we are a chosen prophet.
Like Metzen. He's a Prophet.
I see there is some doubt in your eyes, a small niggling "But-!" in your mind. Or perhaps it's not so small, perhaps it's taking over your mind and telling you to run the hell away and not look back at my heresy. I cannot say.
But here I shall give you my two bits of imagination that prove this theory to be entirely factual! REJOICE! For you are one of the chosen few to witness this leap forward in Huma-- er, Azothian logic!
Exhibit 1:
That's preposterous! you say, right? The shapes aren't even remotely similar. To which I say, "Bullshit!"
Actually, there are two possible excus-- er, reasons for this. One is that you're clearly blind as a freaking bat - do you not see the far north of Lordaron? Up where the Shattered Sun Offensive is, with Silvermoon? Does that not slightly resemble Cape York? The gap between that small northern island and Northrend - the Gulf of Carpentaria, perhaps? I would imagine the area between Darwin and, say, Broome was broken up and became Bloodmist and Azuremist Isles, with Teldrassil being planted a short(ish) distance away.
Exhibit B: Clearly the majority of the continent is toast. It's underwater, or blown into a fine mist and giving us little dust storms in Tanaris. I imagine Tasmania to be accounted for at a later date. Plus, Tasmania gives us handfish, which are clearly our proto-murlocs.
I totally stole that image from elsewhere, but am not particularly concerned at this time due to my low reader count. Like... what, 0? That sounds about right.
For those who have been paying attention to the WoW line, Zarhym posted a link regarding the Handfish, which has recently been classified as a new species with only 4 caught, and 9 (I believe?) observed. All species of this type of fish have only been found in Australia thus far. Very little is known about these creatures, but this image in particular offers some food for thought for WoW players. You see this beasty? Give him some millions of years (possibly thousands the way we're pumping chemicals into our environments) and soon he'll be forming settlements on our sea shores, waving spears at beach goers and traumatizing our children with their war cry, "MRLGLRBRMGLGGLBLR!"
There you have it. Factual proof positive that I'm ins-- Azeroth is actually Australia.
Any excuses that the shape is not identical nor to scale will be met with frozen trout smacking. Also, consider how the Sundering (when the demons were using the Well of Eternity as a backward toilet) would have slurped landmass up, or possibly (despite claims to the contrary, because *I* can be contrary too) expanded outward. I actually can't be bothered to compare our known Azeroth's size to Australia's.
(Which would make us the Titans, and the Old Gods would be our eco-mistakes... possibly the chili left in the fridge too long)
The good news is there is hope for us in the future. The bad news is, many of us will be mutated into blue skinned Trolls and (then?) Night Elves, Tauren, Taunka, Kalu'ak, kitty people coming in Wrath, Goblins, and a number of us will be transformed into androids which will later be returned to fleshy soft form. And then a bunch of us will die painful, horrible deaths and be transformed into minions of the Lich King. Some of us will be released from the Lich King! Either as disgusting atrocities as the "Foresaken," or as slightly more well preserved Death Knights.
As for why Northrend is old while that portion of our Earth is clearly closer to the equator - silly, silly people. Our planet's magnetic poles change ALL THE TIME (give or take a few million years). So it's not so outlandish that Northrend would find itself closer to a pole than Silithus and Booty Bay would be. that, or some odd quirk of a nuclear winter. Either way.
0 comments:
Post a Comment